Survivor: How would Harry Potter characters fare as castaways?

In light of the 20th anniversary of the first Harry Potter book’s release, a look at which characters from the series would do well on Survivor.

Just in case you haven’t ventured on any form of social media on Monday, June 26, it’s the 20-year anniversary of the first Harry Potter book being released. Inspired by the series of books penned by J.K. Rowling, there would go on to be eight films in the series. Since then, there has also been a spin-off with the recent Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

Suffice it to say that Harry Potter has been a worldwide phenomenon from before the first film’s release and since. It remains as culturally relevant and individually important to many fans as it was on Day 1.

Looking at the many characters in the Harry Potter series through our Survivor obsessive minds, however, it’s hard not to wonder what would happen in a hypothetical world where characters from the series were playing the greatest reality game known to man.

Though the characters in the Harry Potter series are too numerous to count, we’ll take a look at several central figures from the books (and/or movies) and assess how they’d fare on Survivor if they were a castaway. We’ll begin with the titular Boy Who Lived.

Harry Potter

The knee-jerk reaction might be to say that the hero of the series might be fantastic as a castaway. After all, he makes a living throughout of being in over his head and finding a way out with help from friends. He’s also, for all intents and purposes, likable if not a bit troubled and tortured. That aforementioned ability to escaped sticky situations, though, appears valuable on Survivor.

However, when you also consider the envy he inspires and his oft-self-centered behavior, he becomes less flattering as a potential castaway. Though he always winds up for the better with lessons learned when those things are displayed in the series, there’s no time for that on Survivor. You learn lessons after you’ve been voted out more often than not. So he may be the central hero of the books/movies, but not so much if he were to be under the watchful eye of Jeff Probst.

Severus Snape

Because he’s largely displayed as a villainous figure throughout much of the Harry Potter series, he’s easy to pigeonhole in that regard when it comes to his Survivor prospects. However, he’s obviously much more than that when you get to the end of the series. Subsequently, you have to think of Snape as a bit of a dark horse if he were on the show.

The Potions master keeps arguably the biggest secret of the entire story throughout the course of 6.5 books (7.5 movies) and ultimately is the driving force behind much of the good that happens to Harry. When you translate that to Survivor, that’s someone who could pull all of the strings while going undetected. And frankly, that’s the recipe for a potential winner — or at least someone who’s making it to Final Tribal Council.

Ron Weasley

Though it’s hard not to have a soft spot for Ron Weasley, it’s also hard to think of him as much of a Survivor player. He’s loyal almost to a fault, he often lets his emotions and hot-headedness get the best of him, and he isn’t exactly a sound strategist.

Unfortunately, every single one of those qualities is something that gets you voted out relatively early on the game of Survivor. He’s most likely be lovable and would surely do some good things while on the show. But Ron is a blindside waiting to happen when you get to the meat of it.

Draco Malfoy

The arch-nemisis of Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy would obviously be a huge villain on the show. It’s not just the fact that he becomes Death Eater, or the precursors to that with him bullying basically everyone at Hogwarts. What makes him even more unlikable is the fact that he has the gumption of a scared toddler.

He wants to be a villain to fill that role, but he doesn’t even have the guts to pull it off. That leaves him as a sniveling wimp. I’m not sure if you’ve ever watched Survivor before, but that type of player and character is usually short-lived in the game.

Hermione Granger

Because of her mental acuity, Hermione is another character whose prospects as a player in the game might be overblown. Yes, she would be able to read situations. Yes, she would great at actually surviving because of her knowledge of, well, just about everything.

However, there are numerous times throughout the series when even her friends get annoyed with her know-it-all behavior. Imagine how that would go over with 17/19 strangers who haven’t developed some level of affection for her. Yeah, they would grow tired of it quite quickly. And when people grow tired of you on Survivor, you go home.

Next: Game Changers: Ranking all 33 previous seasons

Dumbledore

Unfair.

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Which Harry Potter characters would be great on Survivor?

By Cody Williams | Jun 26, 2017